Incomplete

What I find I regret the most are things I never completed. For example, I didn't take my grade 10 RCM piano exam, I didn't take my RCM music history exam (even though I bought the textbook), and I never got braces (even though I suffer from TMJ). It plagues me in my dreams, or when I wake up in 4:00 in the morning and can't get back to sleep, that I left something incomplete. And although it's not too late for me to take the grade 10 RCM piano exam or RCM music history exam or even get braces - do I even want to do those things anymore? And especially for grade 10 piano, I don't know if I'll ever be technically good enough to play at that level again. I have only been playing easy church music and sight reading pieces. I haven't even been practicing scales regularly anymore. And for adult braces, if I get them, will they really help my TMJ (which is honestly, quite manageable)? I already look like a teenager, getting braces on top of vanity would require a lot of attention to eating specific foods, flossing between braces and wearing retainers afterwards...

I know I'm making excuses but on top of it I know there is the hope that someday, maybe, if I take the time and effort, these incompletes might become complete. Well, everything except the braces because I really don't want braces unless I know for sure that it will help my TMJ. But you know, I am always weighing the pros and cons. Imagine if I did go for the RCM music history exam or get braces as an adult. They are possibilities, but are they worth it? Maybe someday it will be something I accept as being incomplete, or unnecessary, because I have higher priorities. I don't know. I'm still figuring out my life, I shouldn't let these little things worry me. I think they worry me because I don't do enough self reflection or prayer daily. Maybe then I'll be able to accept that yes, these things are not finished, but it's never a completely closed book. I mean maybe once I'm done everything and have the money, I'll get lessons to finish grade 10 piano and music history. Who knows? But even if that never happens, I think that if I at least make up for it by accomplishing and finishing other things, I will definitely be satisfied.

Adventurous

Although I do tend to get used to routine and the same things, I always enjoy experiencing something new and different. Going to a foreign country, place, or restaurant is exciting for me. There's just something special about being somewhere for the first time. I've been to many provinces in Canada (specifically: Ontario, Manitoba, Alberta, Prince Edward Island, Québec, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and Saskatchewan), and I've been to the Philippines, the U.S. (including: Boston, New York, and Hawaii), and Costa Rica.

I remember when I was on vacation in Hawaii and the Philippines and I brought my math homework with me. I was still in high school at the time. Nobody wants to bring homework with them on vacation. Thankfully, I got to get my homework done early with the help of my brother and the work I did actually boosted my math mark. But I'm definitely not bringing work with me on any future vacation.

Owning Pets

I have to admit, I have not always been a faithful pet owner. The easiest experience I had owning pets was taking care of my fishes. I just had to feed them flakes and dried blood worms from Big Al's and watch them swim around in their tank. Even when I didn't feed them for a couple of days they would be okay. They weren't needy and they never called for food or anything. I was so interested in fish at the time that I did one of my Science Fair projects on the schooling of neon tetra fish and won third place.

My first experience with pets to hold were my first two degus (which are small rodents), Speedy and Porsha. To be honest, I didn't even know their genders, I just named them based on their personalities. Speedy was a quick degu, not easy to hold and bigger than Porsha. Porsha was an angel, quiet, sweet, and easy to pick up without wriggling. Both degus were energetic, but my brother and I didn't know that at first. When my dad first brought them home, I was sick in bed and I remember my dad holding them (one on each hand) and I said, "What is that?" Afterward, he let me hold one (I think it was Speedy) and I subsequently dropped the one he gave me, because the degu started wriggling. We originally put them in the glass aquarium for the fish (the fish were long gone by them) but we realized they needed more room to roam and my dad made two big (one bigger than the other) cages which we could connect to each other. My brother and I had fun playing with the degus in my brother's bedroom and the basement but they were fast and Speedy was always the hardest to catch. I was a very immature (in age) pet owner at the time and my brother left the cages out one time and Porsha (the sweet one) escaped. For my birthday, I got another baby female degu to replace Porsha, Porsha Junior or P.J. But due to my negligence, I left their cage outside and they died because of the heavy rain.

I also had a dog at some point, an adopted whippet-cocker, a fast and young puppy that my dad really liked. I named him Bob, but he would occasionally nip at my brother and I. I once took Bob to my elementary school once and all the students that saw him loved him. However, we couldn't keep Bob because my mom had allergies.

My current pet is a cute guinea pig named Trixie. We adopted her from my mom's co-worker. And Trixie, like all of my pets, has a personality. She is very curious, but also a little shy. She doesn't like venturing to far away from familiar people or objects. She loves vegetables but she hates oranges. She loves sitting on your lap and eating from your fingers. She hates baths. I like Trixie and as an older owner I can take better care of her. I take her outside and she doesn't run away. I give her food. I clean her cage. I'm really the only one taking care of her, and I like that I'm more accountable now rather then when I didn't do anything but feed and play with my pets. I give her baths and cut her nails. Owning a pet does boost your mood and self-esteem, but it's nice caring for an animal and seeing them happy.

Book Review - Filipinos in Canada: Disturbing Invisibility

I have not had the pleasure of reading much Filipino literature besides articles in Filipino-Canadian newspapers like the Balita, but I have been fortunate to purchase and read Filipinos in Canada: Disturbing Invisibility.

Filipinos in Canada: Disturbing Invisibility was a great book for me to read as a university student and Canadian-born Filipina. My three favourite chapters in the book were Chapter 2 (Filipino Canadians in the Twenty-First Century: The Politics of Recognition a Transnational Affect Economy), Chapter 17 (Educated Minorities: The Experiences of Filipino Canadian University Students), and Chapter 18 (Mas Maputi Ako sa 'yo [I'm lighter than you]: The Spatial Politics of Intraracial Colourism among Filipina/o Youth on the Greater Toronto Area).

To quote a relevant example from Chapter 17:

"Students describe a lack of recognition of Filipino students, especially academically. [...] Similarly, students felt themselves to be both marginalized and privileged to be at UBC [University of British Columbia] because they observed the absence of other Filipinos. While students interviewed are seen as successes, many are constantly reminded that they are only a select few on campus" (Coloma 368-369).

I often felt like the only Filipino studying English and Political Science at my university. I never or rarely see other Filipino students in my classes.

I found it particularly amusing reading this section in Chapter 18:

"...Grace later suggests that dark-skinned Filipinas from Scarborough are a lower-class type of beauty, which Grace describes as 'ghetto fabulous.' She seems to suggest that there exists an unattainable standard of beauty that the ghetto fabulous cannot live up to.[...] she [also] seems to suggest that Filipinas from Scarborough simply cannot achieve this higher standard of beauty because their lower-class status, imprinted on their very skins, serves as a barrier, preventing them from achieving the socio-spatial mobility that light skin affords middle-class Filipina/os" (Coloma 393).

As a dark-skinned Filipina from Scarborough, I can honestly say I am happy with my skin colour but I have heard about Filipinos preferring lighter-skinned Filipinas over darker-skinned. As for being from Scarborough, I have to admit, I do play up that I'm from the 'ghetto,' but I would never describe myself as 'ghetto-fabulous.' And I personally think that dark-skinned Filipinas are as pretty if not prettier than light-skinned Filipinas. In the Filipino channels, we get in Canada (TFC and GMA) I often see light-skinned Filipinas being represented in Filipino TV shows.

Before I go on too much of a tangent: buy this book! Filipinos in Canada: Disturbing Invisibility is a great compilation that covers a range of topics on Filipino-Canadian identity and it's just an awesome read in general (especially for those interested in cultural politics, anthropology, and political science). The only thing I would say could be improved is if they had the pictures/visuals (in the book) in colour and on a nicer sheet of paper. Aside from that, the book is amazing content-wise, and I would highly recommend it!

Work Cited

Coloma, Roland Sintos. Filipinos in Canada: Disturbing Invisibility. Toronto: University of Toronto, 2012. Print.