Incomplete

What I find I regret the most are things I never completed. For example, I didn't take my grade 10 RCM piano exam, I didn't take my RCM music history exam (even though I bought the textbook), and I never got braces (even though I suffer from TMJ). It plagues me in my dreams, or when I wake up in 4:00 in the morning and can't get back to sleep, that I left something incomplete. And although it's not too late for me to take the grade 10 RCM piano exam or RCM music history exam or even get braces - do I even want to do those things anymore? And especially for grade 10 piano, I don't know if I'll ever be technically good enough to play at that level again. I have only been playing easy church music and sight reading pieces. I haven't even been practicing scales regularly anymore. And for adult braces, if I get them, will they really help my TMJ (which is honestly, quite manageable)? I already look like a teenager, getting braces on top of vanity would require a lot of attention to eating specific foods, flossing between braces and wearing retainers afterwards...

I know I'm making excuses but on top of it I know there is the hope that someday, maybe, if I take the time and effort, these incompletes might become complete. Well, everything except the braces because I really don't want braces unless I know for sure that it will help my TMJ. But you know, I am always weighing the pros and cons. Imagine if I did go for the RCM music history exam or get braces as an adult. They are possibilities, but are they worth it? Maybe someday it will be something I accept as being incomplete, or unnecessary, because I have higher priorities. I don't know. I'm still figuring out my life, I shouldn't let these little things worry me. I think they worry me because I don't do enough self reflection or prayer daily. Maybe then I'll be able to accept that yes, these things are not finished, but it's never a completely closed book. I mean maybe once I'm done everything and have the money, I'll get lessons to finish grade 10 piano and music history. Who knows? But even if that never happens, I think that if I at least make up for it by accomplishing and finishing other things, I will definitely be satisfied.