I graduated from university nearly two years ago and, I have to be honest, my post-grad life has not gone exactly the way I expected it to. I helped a friend bring her mother for dialysis treatment for a month, then I got a part-time job as an English instructor which I stayed in for ten months, then I worked for the polls during the elections...
The decisions I have made have all been my own and, truthfully, if I had stayed where I was a year ago I know that would be complacent in that job forever. I saw a former co-worker today, on my way home. I wouldn't say she is better off than me or I am better off than her, but I would say that I made a conscious decision to pursue what I love regardless of the consequences.
Even though I haven't completely followed through on my dreams and
goals, I hope before my birthday I can set a solid plan and reach a
place closer to where I'd like to be.
2015 brought me many joys. I met and taught wonderful kids in Canada and abroad in Peru. I attended the concert of the Siervas sisters. I traveled alone on a plane for the first time in my life to Kansas City, Missouri and stayed in a hotel by myself. I celebrated the 25th anniversary of my parents.
But 2016 has brought me exciting times as well. From going ice wine tasting for the first time, to attending many auditions and workshops, I have been pushing myself a lot this year, which has resulted in more growth and self-awareness.
I've doubted myself more this year than any other year in my life. The self-doubt has come from the struggles of the past and the uncertainty of the future, but I have reached a sense of peace (this fluctuates) in knowing that no matter what happens in my life, my happiness is not tied to my job or my money or even my health. In the absence of those things - which do have a negative repercussions - I am still a whole person.
I remember almost two weeks ago sitting on my bed with a sprained left ankle and pained right foot feeling utterly useless. I look at myself now, able to move around and walk (though I have occasional pain in my left ankle still) and I thank God for my blessings. God doesn't give me struggles or pain that I can't handle or learn from.
